Tips for Parents and Students
The Fourth of July has come and gone, which means college kids will soon be packing their bags and heading off before you know it. For many parents, this may be your first time sending a child (or this child, at least!) away from home for more than a few weeks—overnight camp suddenly feels like a distant memory. Dropping your “baby” off at college can feel scary, sad, and surreal.
To help both parents and daughters navigate this milestone, we’ve compiled six tips for parents and five for incoming college freshmen.
For Parents
1. Keep Communication Open
Whatever topics arise—academics, social life, relationships, or mental health—make sure your daughter knows she can come to you for honest, nonjudgmental conversation. Every family has its own comfort level with what’s “okay” to talk about (e.g., drinking, sex, partying, etc.), but the key is to remain approachable. There’s a difference between lecturing and offering grounded, caring advice. Experiment with tone and timing to find what works best for your relationship.
2. Envision Together
Encourage your daughter to create a flexible vision for her first year. What kind of friends does she want to find—popular or loyal, surface-level or supportive? The unknown can be daunting, but imagining what college life might look like helps reduce anxiety and build excitement.
3. Promote Resilience and Adaptability
A roadmap can be helpful, but flexibility is the true marker of success—especially when facing the unpredictability of college life. Encourage your daughter to keep her expectations broad, explore different friend groups, and allow things to unfold naturally. Remind her that the first few weeks are about exploration, not perfection.
4. Stay Realistic
Even the strongest students may stumble at first. College is a new environment with different expectations. Give her space to find her footing academically and emotionally.
On drinking: it’s a reality at most colleges. You don’t need to condone it, but you can prepare her for safe decision-making. Talk about pacing, checking in with herself between drinks, staying aware of her surroundings, and looking out for friends. Focusing on safety rather than punishment helps build trust—and reduces rebellion.
5. Be a Calming Resource
Validate her nerves, but resist the urge to amplify them. Even if you’re anxious too, model calm confidence in her ability to handle challenges. If she tends to “leap and then look,” meet her enthusiasm with encouragement. When homesickness or self-doubt sets in (and it likely will), your steady reassurance will help her find her footing.
For Students
(Our college interns helped us with this list—so you’re getting real-deal advice from people who’ve been there.)
1. Seize the Chance to Start Fresh
College is a blank slate. Who do you want to be? What kind of friend do you want to have—and be? High school is behind you. Let go of regrets and focus on building the life you want now.
2. Be Yourself
A fresh start doesn’t mean reinventing yourself. Stay true to who you are. If you’re introverted and prefer deep, meaningful friendships, that’s great—don’t feel pressured to join every club or sorority. On the other hand, if you’re social but shy, try leaning into a more confident version of yourself. Authenticity attracts the right people.
3. Stay Open and Go With the Flow
Don’t judge too quickly. Friendships and opportunities often show up where you least expect them. Be kind, say yes to new experiences, and try to stay flexible. Unless something feels off in your gut, go along for the ride—whether that means grabbing pizza with your hallmates or joining a random study group.
4. Make Good Choices
We’re not here to lecture, but it’s worth saying: be smart about your limits. You don’t want to be remembered as “that girl” from the first weekend. If you cross a line, don’t let shame keep you there—you always have a chance to reset and start fresh. Listen to your instincts, use moderation, and stay aware of your surroundings.
5. Expect to Feel Homesick (and Know It Won’t Last)
It’s completely normal to feel lonely or sad at first. Adjusting takes time. We have a sign in our office that says, “May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Instagram.” Everyone feels out of place sometimes—especially at the beginning. Give yourself grace; friends and confidence will come sooner than you think.
The leap from high school to college brings a swirl of emotions—for both teens and their parents. The best thing you can do is acknowledge those feelings, keep communication open, and approach the transition with curiosity and optimism.
If you’d like extra guidance or support (for incoming freshmen or their parents), reach out at info@truemindbody.com or call 847.400.0078.
Caroline Novack, LCSW
July 30, 2023
